"I Do Not Want to Be Gandhari: Navigating Love, Respect, and Self-Awareness in Relationships"

In the epic Mahabharata, Gandhari, the wife of King Dhritarashtra, chose to blindfold herself in solidarity with her blind husband. Her unwavering devotion and sacrifice have been revered, but in today's context, many women grapple with the dilemma of balancing love and respect for their partners while staying true to their own principles and boundaries.

So, what should we (women) do? Let us dive deep into the matter with a few considerations.

~ Love and Respect vs. Blind Devotion: Loving and respecting your partner is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. However, it's crucial to differentiate between unconditional support and turning a blind eye to your partner's flaws or negative behaviors. Being honest with yourself about what you can accept is key to maintaining your self-worth and integrity.

- Do you believe that following the Gandhari approach was the correct choice?

~ Setting Boundaries and Self-Preservation: It's not uncommon for individuals, especially women, to feel pressured to overlook their partner's faults or actions that make them uncomfortable. However, understanding where to draw the line and establishing personal boundaries are vital. Respect for oneself is equally important as respecting your partner.

~ Communication and assertiveness: Healthy relationships thrive on open communication. Expressing concerns or addressing issues in a respectful manner allows for mutual understanding and growth within the relationship. Being assertive about your feelings and concerns doesn't diminish love; instead, it fosters understanding and strengthens the bond.

~ Breaking the 'Ame Women' Stereotype: Society often expects women (especially in India) to conform to certain roles and behaviours, including the notion of unquestioning support for their partners. However, times are evolving, and women are embracing their individuality and agency in relationships. Being an independent thinker doesn't diminish your love; it enriches it with honesty and authenticity.

~ Supportive, Not Blind: Supporting your partner through ups and downs is admirable, but it shouldn't come at the cost of compromising your values or ignoring concerning behaviors. Constructive criticism and a genuine concern for your partner's well-being can coexist with love and support.

~ Seeking Balance and Self-Reflection: Striking a balance between love, respect, and self-awareness is a continuous process. Regular self-reflection helps in understanding your emotions, desires, and boundaries within the relationship. It's essential to evaluate what brings fulfilment without sacrificing personal principles.

~ Embracing Empowerment in Relationships: Healthy relationships empower both partners. It's about supporting each other's growth while maintaining individual identities and respecting each other's choices and beliefs.

Being like Gandhari, completely devoted and blind to faults, may not align with modern relationship dynamics. Loving and respecting your partner while maintaining your individuality and boundaries is possible. It's essential to cultivate self-awareness, communicate openly, and strike a balance that fosters a fulfilling and respectful relationship. Being true to yourself strengthens a relationship with honesty and mutual understanding.

In the quest for love and respect within relationships, the story of Gandhari serves as a reminder of the complexities that arise when balancing devotion and self-awareness. While her unwavering commitment is admirable, modern relationships call for a different approach—one that values mutual respect, open communication, and individual agency.

What's your Story - Woman?

With 2 master’s degrees in History and Journalism respectively, a flourishing career, It was completely my decision to quit the job, after becoming a mother. Being the most career-focused woman in the family, I made the choice at that crucial moment when I was about to get a promotion. The role of a wife and a new mother's responsibilities were extensive. In my opinion, adding professional duties to it will make sailing difficult. 

For a few days things were normal as I had new responsibilities. I must say which were much tougher than the professional ones. I succeeded in managing a newborn the way I succeeded in training new joiners at my past organization.  

Now comes the real problem: I am the type of person who is always wondering, "What's next?" (in LIFE).

Being a role model for my daughter I do not want her to reflect that “A woman's career ends after giving birth.” Moreover, being a girl child I want her to know the importance of financial independence in life. 

I considered resuming my professional career. But HOW? In the course of attending interviews, upskilling myself, I realized that the only alternative now open to me is a remote work opportunity. 

It was the time of Covid and It worked for me as a curse in boon!

Remote work has changed the entire 9–6 working mechanism Globally. I would rather say, it is not a trend, rather a conscious shift!It is simple to approach remote work as a casual thing or a nap session in the afternoon after lunch which is not at all productive. However, it is not; instead, it represents a fundamental change in how people live and work that transcends all businesses and industries.

Today, 69% of American businesses provide flexible work schedules, a 173% rise from just 2005. By 2030, 66% of knowledge workers and 71% of Millennials predict that the office will be extinct.

Remote work became my lifeline…since then! 

Hope you enjoy reading about the challenging transition of a woman from her bachelorhood to motherhood, do post your comments below to let me know your thoughts!

Identifying the Lesser known Signs of Depression

 

(Source: National Institute of Mental Health)

Globally, an estimated 264 people suffer from depressive episodes, one of the most common causes of disability, while many of these people also experience anxiety symptoms. 

(Source: WHO) 

In the United States, compared to 74% a year ago, more than 8 out of 10 (84%) psychologists who treat anxiety disorders reported an increase in demand for anxiety treatment. 

Demand for depression treatment is also on the rise, with 72% of psychologists who treat depressive disorders reporting an increase, up from 60% in 2020. 

(Source: American Psychological Association)

Life with all its hues, colors, and shades will offer happy as well as sad moments.Regrettably, we remember letdowns and disappointment more than happy times that we may remember for the rest of our lives.Technically, when we worry about these difficult moments more than normal and get depressed as a result, we are in danger of crossing the terrible boundary of depression.

“Depression is being colorblind and constantly 

told how colorful the world is.” – Atticus.

Depression, anxiety, and mental health are all terms that are commonly used in today's society, despite the fact that we have yet to fully comprehend the full picture. In general, these are associated with societal stigmas, so there is a lot of room to raise awareness of depression and, more importantly, the signs of it.

However, the symptoms they exhibit to the outside world may be very different from how they feel on the inside. More importantly, if a person is in such mode, identifying these lesser known signs of depression is one of the challenges. 

Some of the lesser known symptoms of depression may be overcompensation through perceived happiness, hypersexuality or may be working too much. Codependency is also seen as many depressed people seek relief from their overwhelming feelings of loneliness by forming attachments with others. While with some it is a disconnected and numb feeling to emotions. Misuse of alcohol and other substances is also seen at times.

In essence, basic understanding and clarity of these conditions can aid in reducing fear and misunderstanding of mental illness. It will give you and your loved ones the courage and discipline to face it. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

The Emerging Future of Remote Work

Remote work has changed the entire 9-6 working 

mechanism Globally!

 

(Source: aionys.com)

Not a trend …..it is a conscious shift!

It is simple to approach remote work as a casual thing or a nap session in the afternoon after the lunch which is not at all productive. However, it is not; instead, it represents a fundamental change in how people live and work that transcends all businesses and industries. 

Today, 69% of American businesses provide flexible work schedules, a 173% rise from just 2005. By 2030, 66% of knowledge workers and 71% of Millennials predict that the office will be extinct.

COVID : A curse in boon

Yes definitely! It was A curse in boon for remote working mechanism. Along with technology the working conditions during the COVID was made possible only by the availability of remote work. 

Obesity : Sitting is the new smoking!

Due to lack of a regular routine to go office , we are forced to spend most of our days sitting in the same place from morning till the end of day. This is because our schedules are so jam-packed with meetings, phone calls, and spreadsheets that our evenings are spent binge-watching Netflix and checking social media after switching off from work. We do not even take more than two to three minute walking breaks in between. It goes without saying that this pattern is not only bad for the body in the long term and can cause a number of chronic ailments, but it can also be a secret source of problems with weight fluctuation.

Way forward The move to remote work may be the best opportunity we now have to increase employee satisfaction, diversity, economics, productivity, agility, talent pool, and environmental effect at any firm. The most innovative businesses in the world are using it at an unprecedented rate because it is now simpler than ever to do so. However, although this may present a fantastic opportunity for businesses who support remote work, however, individuals who do not also face an existential threat from it.

Personal experience: I love to share my personal story regarding remote work. A mother and wife with 2 masters degree in History and Journalism, Remote work is my lifeline!

It was completely my decision after becoming a mother to quit job from office. Being a role model for my daughter I do not want to showcase her that A women’s career is ended after giving birth. Moreover, being a girl child I want her to know the importance of financial independence, which is only possible with remote opportunity.

(Source : Global Workplace Analytics)

One of my friend used to work in Gurgaon (Delhi). Live in Noida ( 60 kms apart). Travelling was a big time killer and once it took her 4 hours from office to home. When she reached home, she had no energy, so what she did was slouched on the couch and dozed off. A few minutes later got up quite abruptly with the thought of chores:

• Watering Plants 
• Dinner for kids
• Laundry 
• School preparation for tomorrow and what not

Is there any possibility that she can save her 3-4 hours of time per day? I would love to hear from you in the comment section.

Is Kambakht Sathe Ka Kya Karen !!

I was missing the theatre spring within me.. 

Leaving Delhi, my theatre group Aatish and yes most importantly after the big drama on 27th of November (my wedding) not that I did not enjoyed but I was out of real theatre...for around 4 months!

After moving to a new place, Daily Sunday rehearsals in Delhi have turned into movies and shopping in Hyderabad - I was in continual search for theatre, theatre groups or any play being screened in the city of pearls.   

I do like movies but in a comparison made between the two. I would say: "I respect a play and I enjoy a movie"

15th May, Sunday - Polash as usual asked me which show time and tickets to book, I said no - today we are in a different expedition.(he was anxious and clueless) 

Yes, we are going for a play, so decided to catch up on a Hyderabadi play in one of the mid may evening -' Is Kambakht Sathe Ka Kya Karen' its an adaptation of the Marathi play, Sathecha Kay Karaycha, penned by the noted playwright Rajiv Naik and translated into Hindi by Jyoti Subhash.

Quick Review: 

The story focuses on the tender relationship between a husband and a wife. It tells us about the happily married life of a couple - Abhay, an ad filmmaker and Salma, a lecturer in college. Each of them face different tribulations in their professional lives, but Abhay takes his troubles far too seriously. He is of the opinion that his colleague Sathe does not deserve the recognition he gets. On the other hand, Salma loves her work and does not care about quick promotion and success. She believes that everything should be done with a pure heart. At a peak point, Salma deals with the situation and handles Abhay's frustration. At the end of the play, both build a strong trust in the relationship and create a companionship that surpasses understanding. The twists and turns and the tribulations the couple faces in balancing their married and professional lives form the rest of the story. This play tries to depict that a positive attitude can make things better.

After the play we went for dinner.(And a long conversation  of course)

We were almost drowned in the spontaneous dialogue delivery, the concept, mesmerizing act, apt lights and sound effects.

Polash: I never went for any play till date and was quite cynical

Me: Yes, I know.

Polash : Must say an amazing act-enjoyed it to the fullest.

Me: (Smiled) this is the reason I am into theatre for last 13 years and miss it when am seeing myself without connected to it.  

Polash: (he nodded) I feel it’s much difficult then a movie and a very strong way to present a character, society or be it any theme.

Me:True! 

Polash: ........So when are we going for the next play?

Lama's World!

A street where music - vehicle - smoking is not allowed.

I know there are ample rules in India but I did not know some people do follow them as well..!

Sikkim - Gangtok - India

Delhi, Winter & Roadside Tea..

I came out from office at 6.30 pm. went to C.P (Connaught Place) from Gurgoun – spent time at the streets of Connaught Place, having tea at Central Park for hours…came back to saket in metro. Usually when I reach saket at such odd hours like 10 or say 11 p.m. I use to take an auto or cab…today I did not I thought to take a bus, A BUS which girls do not prefer to commute even during the day.

The picture above is the saket bus stand at 10.05 p.m Friday(6-3-15) – the other women  I saw in the street was the tea wali - who was about to close her shop – looking at me the cute lady made a fresh tea and said – “Beta etne der akele bus ka wait mat kiya karo – jaldi ghar jao” – I smiled and said – “fir aapke haath ka etna acha masala tea kese piti”

She too exchanged a smile and nodded…