"I Do Not Want to Be Gandhari: Navigating Love, Respect, and Self-Awareness in Relationships"

In the epic Mahabharata, Gandhari, the wife of King Dhritarashtra, chose to blindfold herself in solidarity with her blind husband. Her unwavering devotion and sacrifice have been revered, but in today's context, many women grapple with the dilemma of balancing love and respect for their partners while staying true to their own principles and boundaries.

So, what should we (women) do? Let us dive deep into the matter with a few considerations.

~ Love and Respect vs. Blind Devotion: Loving and respecting your partner is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. However, it's crucial to differentiate between unconditional support and turning a blind eye to your partner's flaws or negative behaviors. Being honest with yourself about what you can accept is key to maintaining your self-worth and integrity.

- Do you believe that following the Gandhari approach was the correct choice?

~ Setting Boundaries and Self-Preservation: It's not uncommon for individuals, especially women, to feel pressured to overlook their partner's faults or actions that make them uncomfortable. However, understanding where to draw the line and establishing personal boundaries are vital. Respect for oneself is equally important as respecting your partner.

~ Communication and assertiveness: Healthy relationships thrive on open communication. Expressing concerns or addressing issues in a respectful manner allows for mutual understanding and growth within the relationship. Being assertive about your feelings and concerns doesn't diminish love; instead, it fosters understanding and strengthens the bond.

~ Breaking the 'Ame Women' Stereotype: Society often expects women (especially in India) to conform to certain roles and behaviours, including the notion of unquestioning support for their partners. However, times are evolving, and women are embracing their individuality and agency in relationships. Being an independent thinker doesn't diminish your love; it enriches it with honesty and authenticity.

~ Supportive, Not Blind: Supporting your partner through ups and downs is admirable, but it shouldn't come at the cost of compromising your values or ignoring concerning behaviors. Constructive criticism and a genuine concern for your partner's well-being can coexist with love and support.

~ Seeking Balance and Self-Reflection: Striking a balance between love, respect, and self-awareness is a continuous process. Regular self-reflection helps in understanding your emotions, desires, and boundaries within the relationship. It's essential to evaluate what brings fulfilment without sacrificing personal principles.

~ Embracing Empowerment in Relationships: Healthy relationships empower both partners. It's about supporting each other's growth while maintaining individual identities and respecting each other's choices and beliefs.

Being like Gandhari, completely devoted and blind to faults, may not align with modern relationship dynamics. Loving and respecting your partner while maintaining your individuality and boundaries is possible. It's essential to cultivate self-awareness, communicate openly, and strike a balance that fosters a fulfilling and respectful relationship. Being true to yourself strengthens a relationship with honesty and mutual understanding.

In the quest for love and respect within relationships, the story of Gandhari serves as a reminder of the complexities that arise when balancing devotion and self-awareness. While her unwavering commitment is admirable, modern relationships call for a different approach—one that values mutual respect, open communication, and individual agency.